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Why I hate yard work and why you should too!

I do not like working in the garden. Why would a man, or maybe a women undergoing laborious experience to work in the garden, or gardening, or working the soil on your property loved beyond me. And for others say they enjoy? Well, sorry to say, are a bunch of liars!

I do not have this attitude at the beginning. Well, maybe I did. But it was not because the landlord. When I turned 12 years old, as well as washing dishes, my dad made me start cutting our lawns in New Jersey. I also enough to pull weeds from the earth to fill a large bucket of 5 gallons. I had to do all this work at least once a day every week! What a waste of time. I think my dad's vision was to have his house on the cover of Good Housekeeping magazine. I knew I was not going to happen because I was involved in doing the work in the garden. My heart was not in it. I guess I hated doing yard work then because it was made to do so. At the time I prefer to be fishing or swimming or create havoc with my friends.

But after leaving home when I turned 18 I had to do more work in the garden for a number of years. Almost 20 years of joyful freedom. It was good living in a barracks, or in several apartments, or, after marriage, a condominium.

But, unfortunately, came when making a decision about owning my own home. And this was in 1991. That's the American dream, right? Owning your own home? To have a family and a dog and a yard to play in.

A garden to play?!?!

Thus began in 1991. I have a lot 1.3 acres with 2.000 square feet near the center of the property with a double-wide driveway. That leaves about 1,100 square feet of lawn. If I had 20/20 hindsight then I would have gotten the option of a triple-wide driveway and eliminate another 300 square meters of lawn. You can throw me in the pants for not doing so.

But started well. I really enjoyed mowing the lawn, weeds work, and working in the flower beds. I even had flower boxes on the stairs and hanging flower baskets on the porch. The place looked almost good enough to get on the cover of good housekeeping magazine. Well, perhaps not so nice. But you have to understand that this was my home and it was my yard and my flowers. Now I had something I could be proud. This is America. I'm married. I have a daughter. A dog. And all is right with the world.

But over the years …. Well, no it is not correct. I guess it was just one or two years – maybe it was 1992 – I realized that these things were not so nice yard after everything. I found I had to work in the garden and the beds work every week, and then week after week after week. Began to feel so familiar.

In New Jersey, there are actually four seasons. And the snows of winter, can even begin as early as November and last until well into March. In New Jersey you could be working in your garden for only 4 or 5 months.

But, oh no! Not in North Carolina where I live now. Siree not Bob! Only we have two seasons here, hot and cold! Yard work begins in late February and can last well into November, depending on when the cold weather really here and actually makes things grow.

But allow me to list some feedback, comments and observations that I have experienced in recent few years to work in the garden. For those who really love their work in the garden maybe now you will see that their time and efforts are being wasted and you should put your energies into some other risk, such as working in my garden. And those, like me, who hate to work in the garden? Well, I think I know who you and you will certainly agree with my assessment:

1. How to make a stuffed green, weed-free lawn?

It is impossible.

However, you need two things: water and fertilizer. And therein lies the big problem, both of them.

Let's talk about water first. Where does water come from? The only water comes from three (count them, 3) places: soil, local water resources of the city or sky.

If you happen to be one of the few who have and use a floor and an unlimited water supply in the table below, the water, by all means, have in it. But be careful. The water makes the grass grow, and we will see later. But if your land and groundwater has a very limited time you also have to be careful. If too much water, then they will have enough water to bring the dirty dishes and dirty shower body. It is a balancing act that must be taken into consideration. Want a lawn green or a clean house? I vote for a clean house.

If you get your water from local water resources of the city then you have two problems as well. The first problem is the expense. Use a large amount of water and have to pay for it, both in its portfolio (yuck) and back to her, did I mention that the water makes the grass grow? The only way to reduce your water bill is to make at least one of two things:

1. Do not water the lawn, which I do not, or

2. Hook the hose to the house your neighbor. (Ah … I do not do well)

The second problem is the years of drought and water restrictions set by local water resources of the city. It can be so bad that the odd number houses water every two days, I think. And you need to water by holding the garden hose. Yeah, right! But violating these restrictions and to report their neighbors. Particularly the neighbor who had taken water in the first place.

If you do not have a well and not to use their resources local city water to water your lawn, then you only have one option. And it's not even an option for you to do. You have to rely on rain, if rain at all. If you live in the northwest do not have a problem. However, during the summer in North Carolina, which may begin in April, it can rain for weeks, which okay. Without rain does not get the water. No water and no grass grows. Then you do not have to mow the lawn. You are free to do something else, like shopping.

Now, let me mention something about fertilizers. One thing that definitely should know about fertilizers is that they are very dangerous. Do not mix with oil fuel and light a match.

Ah, but you want to use a fertilizer? Well, now you have to figure how much fertilizer to get. But to do that you to know the size of your lawn. Mine is 1,100 square feet and 1,500 square meters to buy fertilizer. You can never have too much fertilizer. Fertilizers comes in small bags enough to feed 500 square feet. So buy 3 bags. Do not buy any of the bags that cover 1,500 square meters. You can save money, but you'll pull back to try to lift are so dang heavy. Make sure you get enough fertilizer or will not work anyway. And in his mind that he is convinced that the intention is to get a plush green, weed-free lawn, right? No! Not me!

However, what type of fertilizer is needed? I have no idea. The packaging of fertilizers is to take a sample of your soil to your local Agricultural Extension Service and tested it. I never did that. You should not either. The test could reveal that your house was built in a hazardous waste site and you will leave the school district is so fond.

All Anyway, get a bag of fertilizer that has crabgrass impediment to it. That way you can brag that the neighbors what he did to make your lawn look good. Does the material? I do not know. I'm still waiting for results.

How often should you pay? Well, fertilization should be proportional the amount of water you intend to put on your lawn. Remember, the grass grows fast and green when watered and fertilized. I fertilize once a year. I think March. Or is April? Anyway I do not water at all that makes no difference.

Ah, indeed! Now there is another concern about the use of fertilizers. Recently advertisements on television to discourage the use of fertilizers because these substances eventually reach our sheds and water reservoirs and therefore are a danger for drinking water. I will not buy fertilizer next year. I have this sense liberal to protect the environment.

Well, what next? Oh yeah:

2. What kind of mower I need?

This could be a trick question. To answer has enough to wonder: I am very lazy and want a little exercise? If you are a very lazy person, or if you have a lawn larger than a football field then get a horse mower. I've never had a riding mower, so I can not give any advice, you lazy.

Ah! So you want a little exercise. Good. So the real question should be: What kind of walk-behind mower need? Well, there are two types: the model of propulsion and the lawn mower push-out of power. And what is the difference between the two that you want? There is none.

In theory, the self-propelled model is supposed to make the most of the "push", but all I found that it would in my accident was close and break the pickets. And see that the function of self-propulsion is broken by Season 3. Then try to push that big in the courtyard with the powertrain ineffective. I had two of these beasts in the past and will never buy another again.

Therefore, it seems that the real business is the type lawnmower without power. You do all thrust. But do yourself a small favor. Buy one with the biggest engine you can find, no less than six horsepower, and get one that is at least 24 inches cutting path. Why? I need more power to cut the lawn (see # 3). And the larger the cutting path of travel unless you have take back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. You get the picture.

And the lack of push type power lawn mower is an excellent source exercise. You get your heart rate at any time, especially when is 95 degrees outside. And why cut the grass when it is 95 degrees outside? Because tomorrow is 98 º and want to cut when the grass is much cooler.

3. How often should I cut the lawn?

This could be interpreted as a stupid question. You really need to mow your lawn less often as possible.

If you have been watering and fertilizing and have often then you will have to mow the lawn every 1 or 2 days. If you do not water the lawn, like me, and very limited use of fertilizers will not have to mow as often. And when the droughts of summer come, for example around April, then you do not have to mow the lawn until October. But that is an illusion, as it could needlessly raining …. Ah, I mean unexpectedly.

The golden rule here and I'll be conservative about this, is to wait for grass to grow at least 8 to 10 inches high, cut the grass at the lowest possible setting on the mower. That's why you need at least 6 hp push type lawnmower. It is necessary that the power to cut the tall grass. And mowing the lawn so you want to make sure periods longer time between cuts. Do not forget, your summer and its 95 degrees outside. Why do you want to mow your lawn, then?

4. What about grass-eaters?

What about them?

These machines out! You snap! I say that if you are the most easiest going, quiet, without any concerns of the person and start using a weed high for the purpose ensures that your attitude toward anything would be worse than a middle linebacker in the NFL with a free throw a quarterback in a Sunday afternoon. Weed eaters never have been invented! If the Agent Orange would not be prohibited barrels of the stuff in the garage.

Never, I repeat, never get a high weed of an electric model. The problems you have with the power are the same as those connected with the exception of gas you have to drag a 200-foot cable extension throughout the yard! Do not!

What are the problems with weed eaters might ask? Let's see, I've gone through eight of things since 1991 and I am an expert. First, dress to kill. Wear goggles, helmets, hearing protectors, face mask, long pants, caps, if any, thick socks and work boots with steel toes. Keep your loved ones and pets and others away at least 4,000 meters. That way you do not hear that cry when speeding rotation Short of cutting the cord deep into the flesh of his body and begin to discuss how a drunken sailor.

But that's not all. Sometimes … .. no that's not right, every time you use the brush cutter you should expect that the cut cable does not unwind as planned. You're supposed to tap the bottom on a surface and then cut hard cable must be removed. Sometimes, tapping the plates do not remove the cutting line. It takes strong. And when that does not work sometimes take over eating grass as an ax and elevate it over then I will go to the store of local home improvement and get another.

And do not forget, the dining rooms of most weed have little 2-stroke engines. That means you have to mix gasoline with 2-cycle oil. You have to know math and have a computer lab for it. And then you have to keep this mixture in a separately marked so you can not mix with different gas / oil mix ratio you has to be used for 2-stroke engine in the steering gear you have to buy if you are so intent on having a vegetable garden. (See # 5)

And see those little 2-stroke in the canteens of grass, they're hot! You're going to burn when it comes round and round brush cutter to make an appropriate edge along its roads. So some clothes of asbestos. China may still have some.

Enough about eating weeds.

5. Should I plant a garden?

Aaahh … …. no!

Having a garden to grow tasty vegetables to save money is a myth. Sometimes the vegetables do not taste good at all. And believe me, you do not save money. Yes, labor is free, but in theory if I pay the minimum wage needed to maintain a small 10 foot by 20 foot garden then in the last 5 years, you owe me $ 36,456.92! You are better off using the money wisely and buy vegetables in your local market or grocery store or an old man in a truck parked alongside the road. Or better yet, pay your mortgage.

And how I have October 1 foot by 20 foot garden in my garden? Well, I had to dig all the grass and had to cart 28 trips into the forest to get rid of the lawn. Then I had to higher actual land purchase (I think it was a few tons) because vegetables do not grow in North Carolina red clay. That becomes particularly when it rains. So to dig the grass on his vegetable garden when it's raining.

Then go buy a tiller. Stems aerate the soil well real. It is easier to use a rake or a hoe, because you will get blisters with rakes and hoes. And be sure to wear boots steel drive when using the tiller. Oh, and you will be very dirty. And take your boots before entering the house!

Also, buy a kind of fence for your garden. You need to keep the rabbits out or going to eat your vegetables before you tasty. Do not buy plastic fence things either. The dog next door will separate only because this happened to me this year. Get some razor sharp metal fencing. The type that prisons use. If that can keep inmates should then have rabbits, and dogs outside.

Let alone gardens.

6. How do I get rid of leaves?

If you have trees in the courtyard of his court down. If your neighbors have trees cut down as well. This way you are sure you will not have to remove leaves come autumn.

But if you have to remove leaves, then unfortunately you can not do the leaves what my father did to them when I was a kid, burn. That was a blast. My dad burned the leaves on the sidewalk like everyone else. The remains of the burnt leaves are just soft gray ash powder. Then we children to trample the ashes our Buster Brown white sneakers and track a mess in the house. And when it rained, the man that was fun stuff. Ah … the good 'ol days.

Well, you can not burn the leaves, or at least should not, but you have to do one of two things:

1. Rake to the curb, when they to be collected by the city sometime in the spring, or

2. Stock up.

If you choose to rake their leaves will blister. So use a leaf blower. Leaf blowers are reliable, powerful, and usually do not break at all. I use mine to blow my leaves into my neighbor's yard.

By using a license that can maneuver fan leaves very effectively in a pile and then bag the leaves. Make sure you have plenty leaf bags. For example, for the two pear trees in my front yard was the leaves that fell were put in bags of 26. Then I had to drag bags heavy on the sidewalk. Later, to save time and energy in the fall, was cut pear trees. No lie.

7. If to aerate the lawn in the fall?

Why did you do that? You should know by now that few efforts than it is. Why aerate the lawn when the activity will encourage growth of grass and then it will be so busy next year? But if you really want to aerate the lawn then rent one of those big huge walk-behind power aeration machines. They are very easy to work if you can bench press 500 pounds.

And if you have a dog that will also help with cleaning. You will find that your dog will eat dirt plugs left behind aeration machine.

8. What kind of grass seed should I use?

I use crab grass myself. It seems to be the only variety that grows in the area anyway. Do not waste time with tall fescue, Kentucky Bluegrass, Canada Green or Zoysa. If your neighbor has a lawn look bad also have a lawn look bad. The seeds are carried by wind and seeds of the side will land in your yard and start growing. There is no civil way to stop this process. If you tells his neighbor to fix the lawn and even set your own what is the point.

Even if your next door neighbor has a beautiful lawn, forget it. Will be a bad lawn looking for somewhere down the street and turn the birds, the grass on a lawn pretty bad. Birds eat the seeds, right? And then bird poop. End of discussion.

9. Should I hire someone to do my work in the garden?

Well, I certainly would not. It takes a crazy person to enjoy doing their own yard work while those actually willing to hire to do their own yard work. This makes no sense to me. If you has a neighbor who is willing to do their work in the garden for free, well, this person is a psychological mess. I would not do their work in the garden if you pay me an exuberant amount of money and gave me his wife and dog.

If you end up hiring, or allowing, a very crazy like this to make their yard work, then make sure to protect yourself by keeping the doors closed … .. weapons and get out.

To come to a conclusion a good friend of mine once said: "If it's green, let it grow." Makes sense to me. Even from 500 feet from my chair is as green as others. I confirmed this recently with Google Earth.

And when it rains and the grass around the world will turn brown, like mine most of the time, of course do not feel bad for any of them. In fact, I'm laughing. After all, I used no effort to achieve the look of my garden, while the neighbors can have spent a fortune for chemicals, seeds and such, and to exercise extreme physical labor to get that magazine look good cleaning and then all goes to pot when not raining.

So, as you can see, obviously, I like working in the garden. I hope my comments have changed my mind if you became one of the few who likes to work on your lawn or garden. But if we still own a house with a courtyard to wait to do these things not to like do. Does this build character? Not on your life. Do not we have a great sense of gratitude for a job well done? Of course not.

But it is my hope, or perhaps should be my plan, which is that someday in the future all and any work in the garden would be removed from my repertoire.

I hope to live in a new floor.

About the Author

Freight at Swindon, 17/8/10